u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
