god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
