I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
