she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
