For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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