we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
