i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
