remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
