Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
