Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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