Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
