It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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