it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
