My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
