I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
