If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
