dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
