I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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