I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
