She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
