how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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