where am i from again
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
