last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
