I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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