put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
even my farts smell like vagina
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
