Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
