My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
