yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
