It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
