The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
