it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Floor bacon is actually really good
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
