he puts the penis in happiness.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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