Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
do herpes really smell.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
