Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
