If you die in college, do you die in real life?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
