wanna go halves on a baby?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
