My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
