So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
