i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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