He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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