I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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