If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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