Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
