Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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