i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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