do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
