I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
