I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
