I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
