After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
